What the Statistics Don’t Show About Veterans and Divorce

Military service asks a lot of families, and that pressure doesn’t magically disappear when someone takes off the uniform. Studies consistently show that veterans—especially those who experienced deployment, combat exposure, or frequent relocations—can face additional challenges with relationship strain and divorce. Long separations, the stress of reintegration, and invisible wounds like PTSD or moral injury can quietly reshape how partners communicate, connect, and cope together.

When we talk about veterans and divorce, the statistics give us numbers—but they miss the lived experience underneath them. They don’t show how differently service impacts each relationship. Two couples can go through the same deployment and come home with completely different outcomes, depending on communication patterns, emotional safety, prior trauma, and the support systems around them. The numbers also flatten time: they don’t capture how strain can show up years later, long after discharge, when a veteran is navigating identity loss, career shifts, or delayed trauma responses.

Statistics miss the invisible labor happening inside many military and veteran households. Partners often carry the emotional weight of transitions, hypervigilance, or mood changes while trying to keep daily life steady. Veterans may struggle to articulate what they’re experiencing, especially if vulnerability was discouraged during service. Add to that the stigma around asking for help, and many couples suffer quietly.

Here are a few research points surrounding veterans and divorce:

• Female veterans have significantly higher divorce rates than male veterans and civilian women. Research using American Community Survey data shows women veterans are about 2–3 times more likely to be divorced than non-veteran women of the same age.

  Source: Institute for Veterans and Military Families (IVMF), Syracuse University https://ivmf.syracuse.edu/

• PTSD and mental health challenges strongly correlate with relationship distress and divorce. Veterans with PTSD report lower relationship satisfaction, higher conflict, and higher likelihood of separation or divorce.

  Source: U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, National Center for PTSD https://www.ptsd.va.gov/family/effect_relationships.asp

  
  

• Timing matters: Divorce risk often increases after separation from service, not during active duty. The transition to civilian life—loss of structure, identity shifts, employment stress—can strain marriages years later.

  Source: Karney & Crown (2007), Families Under Stress: An Assessment of Data, Theory, and Research on Marriage and Divorce in the Military https://www.rand.org/pubs/monographs/MG599.html

• A RAND Corporation study found that deployment length and combat exposure are associated with increased marital strain and risk of divorce.

  Source: RAND Corporation, Deployment Experiences of Guard and Reserve Families

  https://www.rand.org/pubs/monographs/MG645.html

The good news is there are many healthy outlets for people experiencing divorce, and Calm Waters in Oklahoma City is a great example. The organization offers support for individuals and families navigating divorce and separation. Their work helps both adults and children feel less alone during a challenging transition.

Join me in 2026 as I co-facilitate a Divorce Group at Calm Waters, you can reserve your spot here. You can visit www.calmwaters.org for more information.

-Jenn Easley, Co-Founder of The Siotha Project

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